


Inner Demons

by starcrossedsapphic



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Additional Warnings Inside, Angst and Drama, Childhood Trauma, Depression, F/F, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbians, Lin centered, Lin doesn't want to confront her past, Lin x Therapy, Mental Health Issues, Slow Burn, Trauma, alternative title: how to make every woman a sapphic, lin needs therapy, lin's backstory, post tlok book one, pre tlok book two, seriously, takes place after Korra restores Lin's bending, this is a lot of sad with fluff in between, this is a lot of sad with some fluff, wlw, wlw writer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:14:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25215310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starcrossedsapphic/pseuds/starcrossedsapphic
Summary: For decades Lin Beifong has built a wall around herself that no one could climb. She was left alone with her inner demons when she needed guidance out of her misery. All that lays in the past and Lin tries to forget and move on, but that's harder than she first anticipated, especially when a special someone tries to get through to her.
Relationships: Lin Beifong/Kya II
Comments: 36
Kudos: 124





	1. Chapter 1

_“Awww Lin can’t bend her way out of this, poor Lin. So defenceless” a group of teenagers had cornered the young Earthbender on her way back home from school. They had been waiting for her for a while, “come on, show us your great skills!”_

_A boy started laughing loudly and looked straight into Lin’s face, “she can’t. She’s just a weak loser. A little weak loser” Judging by the look on his face he was clearly enjoying this. The corner of his mouth formed a soft smirk. And just when he was about to turn away from Lin he spit in her face._

_A rush of shame flooded right into Lin’s cheeks making them bright red. She took a deep breath and felt the heat in her head. This wasn’t fair._

_She clenched her fists and tried to free herself from the two kids holding her hands behind her back. “Leave me alone!” her voice sounded almost desperate and her throat started hurting from trying to hold back her tears._

_At school, she was considered a—_

* * *

“Lin!” a familiar voice rang through her ears, “Lin!” It sounded muffled, “Spirits! Lin, wake up!” It came closer. She couldn’t quite grasp who the voice belonged to.

Lin inhaled sharply and opened her eyes wide, staring at the ceiling. Where was she? _Southern Water Tribe. It’s fine._ Her chest was heavily going up and down and she was convinced whoever was with her in this room could hear her heart banging against her chest.

Something about that voice caused her stomach to turn upside down. Her mind was wandering off to the events to the previous day but everything that happened after Korra had restored her bending was just gone. She couldn’t remember.

And, oh, that frustrated her. She felt a rush of anger towards that voice. Lin wanted whoever that was to just be quiet. _Shut up, shut up, shut up!_

The voice had been quiet for a while now. The only sound in the room was the heavy breathing of the person laying on the bed.

“Lin…?” it sounded like a question the Earthbender didn’t feel like answering. The voice was soothing, something about it felt so warm. She couldn’t quite grasp what made her feel this way, but her stomach turned upside down once again. Her head fell to the side and when her cheek hit the cold mattress everything around her was once again swallowed up by darkness, but this time she felt… safe.

* * *

Lavender. The whole room smelt like lavender and the sound of water… possibly raindrops, rang through her ears. _What happened?_

When the woman on the bed opened her eyes they screamed fear. Fear of what? Fear of something that was rooted deep inside her. Something that was… very well hidden. The wrinkles around the Earthbender’s green eyes made them look tired, no, not tired. Exhausted. Her pupils didn’t move and she looked straight towards the other person. No words were spoken, there was no need to.

The other person in the room carefully studied the woman in front of her. She looked stiff and uneasy at the same time. The knuckles on her hand had turned white from grabbing onto the thin blanket around her. _There was no need for that._ The metal armour was still protecting the Chief’s complete upper body. _Protect her from what?_ She couldn’t bend it off.

“Lin” the voice she had heard earlier belonged to the person standing in front of her. Lin knew this person. Her name was hovering in front of her but every time she reached out for it, it went further away, “I’m so glad you’re finally awake! We’ve been waiting for you to come back. Your body took it really hard when Korra-“

_Korra._ She remembered that name. Lin saw the other woman’s lips move, but the echo of her voice never reached the Earthbender’s eardrums. Instead her eyes gazed towards the small window. It was rather small and did not seem to have the purpose of a majestic view, unlike the ones in Lin’s office back in Republic City. 

Snow. It was snowing outside, “Southern Water Tribe,” she looked back at the woman, “Kya.”

In that moment every memory came back to her. She tried saving Tenzin and his family from the Equalists and got captured. She then… her bending. _I lost it._ Trying to dig deeper into her own memory she clenched her fists again. It made her feel uneasy.

“Lin?” Kya looked at her. Lin appeared like she was about to lose her consciousness again, “Lin stay with me.” She could sense that the Earthbender was registering her voice. She felt it. 

Something warm touched Lin’s cheeks but this time it did not feel like rage or shame. It felt… safe. Her breathing calmed down as did the rest of her body. _You’re not in danger._ Her hands let go of the blanket she was holding onto for dear life.

Kya. Kya’s hands were placed on her cold and bony cheeks. Lin felt uneasy whenever someone touched the scars in her face, but right now… _Oh god._ Right now, she didn’t care. Something deep inside, so very deep inside that she couldn’t figure out where it was coming from, told her that it was alright. That she was alright. 

Soft fingers started caressing her skin, “are you with me, Lin?” Kya sat down on the mattress next to her childhood best friend, “we were worried you wouldn’t wake up. Your body has been through a lot.” 

Lin listened to her friend speak and opened her mouth slightly. She wanted to smile, but she couldn’t. She wouldn’t.

“You’ve been asleep for nine days, after-“

“What?!” the Earthbender sat up straight, causing the other woman to lose her balance for a second until she could catch herself. 

They were looking into each other’s eyes and both of them could tell a whole different story. Lin’s were opened wide and Kya studied every movement of her pupils. Lin carefully looked around the room without actually moving the rest of her body. She put a part of her lower lip between her teeth and collected herself.

“You slept for nine days after Korra restored your bending. How are you feeling?” Kya asked with concern in her voice. She was almost certain the Chief of Police wouldn’t give her a proper answer, but she tried nevertheless.

An ironic laugh escaped Lin’s lips. Her walls were up again.

“Anyway, Korra and the other kids returned to Republic City a few days ago. Bumi, Tenzin, Pema, and the kids are on the way to the Southern Air Temple. They asked me to join, but I wanted to stay with mum to make sure that you’re okay,” Kya stood up and took a few steps back to make sure she gave Lin her space.

Lin, on the other hand, glared at her, “I don’t care” she placed her feet on the cold ground, “I need to go back to work. The city needs me to go back.”

The Waterbender fidgeted with her fingers, “about that..”

“What now?!”

Lin was in a bad mood. Well, to be fair, that was her constant mood. _She changed so much since we were kids,_ Kya thought.

“What, Kya?!”

“You remember Saikhan becoming the Chief of Police, right?” the uncertainty in Kya’s voice was more than obvious to everyone who could have possibly eavesdropped on them, “well, I… Tenzin… uhm… I… we…”

The Earthbender rolled her eyes. She hated it when someone wouldn’t get straight to the point. Rambling was useless, in the end, she always got the information she needed so why did people make it harder than it had to be?

“We thought you might… might… join us at the Southern Air Temple?” Lin looked at Kya, who had the cutest smile on her face.

_A holiday at the Southern Air Temple?_ Technically, she had no job at the moment so going back to Republic City would lead to her sitting around at home all day and going insane. And there was… something about that smile on Kya’s lips that she couldn’t say no to, that she couldn’t resist.

Lin sighed and crossed her arms in front of her chest, “fine.” Her cold facial expression didn’t change. No smile. Not even her eyes showed a sign of joy or… just anything.

* * *

“Be careful on your journey, especially you, Lin,” Katara looked at the grown-up woman sitting at the table, “take your time until your whole strength is back.”

Rationally, she knew that her words didn’t reach the stubborn Earthbender. There was too much of her parents in her. Lin had a mind of her own and Katara appreciated that, but at times, especially when she was younger, it was hard to control the child.

Lin used to stay over at Air Temple Island a lot as a kid. She was best friends with Katara’s children and got along famously with her husband, Aang. Especially Lin and Kya seemed to have a special bond. Katara could recall the nights she heard the two of them giggling in her daughter’s room past bedtime, but neither she nor Aang wanted to interrupt the two of them.

But now… everything was different. The kids were all grown up and Aang was replaced as the Avatar. No, not everything was different. Her sweet little Kya was still the same warm soul she used to be as a child, Lin on the other hand… if Katara hadn’t known better she’d say child Lin and adult Lin were not the same person.

“Mhm, sure,” Lin replied, not really paying attention, she was rather focussed on cleaning her armour. She still hadn’t taken it off, she didn’t want to. _It makes me feel safe._

She was a troubled soul, both of the Waterbenders could sense it. Neither said something. They tried countless times. No one had got through to Lin in a lot of decades and over time everyone has just given up. She was too complicated, too much to handle. At least that was what Lin told herself.

“We should get going before the sun sets over the horizon. It’s not far until the Southern Air Temple and Tenzin sent Oogi back to pick us up,” Kya smiled, she was excited to spend time with her family. She looked back at Lin who didn’t seem to be impressed. At all.

The Earthbender sighed dramatically and got up, “I’ll be outside.”

She left the coziness of the tiny house and stepped into the snow. She could see every breath in front of her and some snowflakes made their way onto the skin of her hands, melting immediately. 

Lin hated the South Pole, not because of the Waterbenders, but because of all the snow. She felt disconnected from the Earth in this place. It was hidden below all these layers of the white and frozen water. _Ironic._

Inside, Katara looked at her daughter, “is she alright?”

“Sure. It’s Lin, she’s always alright, isn’t she?” Kya chuckled, knowing very well that something had been off about Lin for years now. In a way, it felt like a dagger stabbing into her heart every time Lin rejected a friendly conversation. The Earthbender used to tell her childhood best friend everything. _Childhood best friend,_ she thought, _are we even still friends?_

* * *

_“Lin is coming over! Lin is coming over!” a young Kya jumped around the kitchen at her childhood home on Air Temple Island._

_Aang was off with Appa to pick up Lin and Suyin for a sleepover. Toph was working on an important case to catch a serial killer in Republic City and wanted to make sure that her two beloved daughters were safe._

_“I can’t wait to show you this new trick mummy showed me, uncle Aang!” Lin told him enthusiastically and wildly moved her arms around with a huge grin on her face._

_“That’s great, Lin! I’m really excited to see!” he patted her head and the eight-year-old leaned against her uncle. She always felt so safe with him and he loved his nieces with all his heart and he couldn’t wait to watch them grow up and become strong and independent women._

_Lin just kept smiling and wrapped her tiny arms around Aang, “I hope Su is a bender as well and then I can teach her everything!!” she said looking at her baby sister who was sleeping peacefully while she herself was about to combust with joy._

_At this very moment, little Lin felt on top of the world. Nothing could ever stop her or take away the joy she felt about being alive._


	2. Chapter 2

“You’re awfully quiet,” Kya looked at her friend who was sitting as far away from her as possible during the flight. She was never sure if her friend liked travelling on Oogi. _Probably not_ , but she used to. 

The Earthbender had her arms crossed and definitely didn’t seem to be impressed. She was wearing her armour again, she was wearing it all the time. Kya couldn’t remember the last time she saw the Chief of Police without her work uniform.

Lin raised her eyebrow and looked away, the grey hair now covering her face completely. The conversation was over. For now.

Water. The only thing surrounding the two women was water… and, well, clouds. The Southern Air Temple wasn’t too far from the Southern Water Tribe, but every ride could be a boring one, especially if your travel buddy wasn’t in the mood to talk to you.

Up there they couldn’t hear the calm sound of the waves, only the cold air was gently laying itself around their bodies. Inside Lin’s head, on the other hand, was a storm. A tremendously loud storm consisting of her own voice. She hated her mind at times. It was too loud.

“Do you remember when we were kids?”

Of course she did. She didn’t suffer from amnesia, “Mh”

The Waterbender chuckled, Lin still had her charm, “oh come on, Linny!”

“Don’t call me that.”

“I will if you don’t talk to me,” the corner of Kya’s mouth went up and formed a smirk, she loved teasing the Chief, “oh come on, talk to me. I’m so bored and we still have another hour or so until we arrive. I hate this silence!”

Lin sighed, “fine.”

“Why’d you do it?”

“Do what?” she looked at Kya, trying to figure out what she meant, but when the Waterbender put on a serious face she _knew, “_ just did my job.” She didn’t know why she did it. It felt right. It felt right to protect the last Airbenders of the world. After all, she was just another average Earthbender who could easily be replaced by-

“No,” Kya’s voice interrupted Lin’s thoughts. The older woman gently shook her head and moved a bit closer to her friend, “why did you save Tenzin and his family?”

“I just did my job!” it was senseless to argue about it and Kya knew that. Lin was stubborn. So incredibly stubborn. _It’s kind of cute._

_“_ So you would’ve done the same for me, Chief?” she bit her lower lip and tried to look directly into Lin’s eyes. It was almost impossible because she kept turning away. 

Lin froze at the question and took a few seconds to collect her thoughts. _Without a doubt._ “Hm… maybe” she smirked, and it was the first time in years that Kya saw that smirk on her friend’s lips again. It caused a feeling of… warmth around her heart.

“At least the worst day of your life is over,” Kya carefully studied every muscle in Lin’s face in hope for an answer. They never talked about it, but the Waterbender knew something was up, way back then, “losing your bending was the worst day of your life, right?”

Lin’s face didn’t move, “yeah, yeah sure.” 

_She’s lying._

* * *

_It was a peaceful evening in Republic City and the 21-year-old Lin just finished work. Today was a special day, it was Tenzin’s and her fifth anniversary and they would celebrate together on Air Temple Island since Katara and Aang were having a date night at a fancy restaurant, and Bumi at stuck at work somewhere in the southern Earth Kingdom. Everything was perfect._

_The Earthbender quickly went back home to her tiny flat that was located close to her office. She bought a special dress for this occasion: it was a long off-shoulder olive coloured dress with a subtle belt around the waist. She loved it and hoped so would her boyfriend._

_She shoved some pyjamas and a little wooden box into her bag. “Oh god,” she murmured and felt like her heart was about to jump out of her chest. She was so excited about this._

_Lin went to her bathroom and grabbed her hairbrush to straighten her unruly, black hair. She tried to grow it out again and right now it was at waist length already. To be fair, it was impractical at work so she always wore it in a bun, but right now she felt like something a bit more extravagant._

_Her soft hair slid through her fingers as she tried braiding it, Kya taught her. Kya always loved playing with Lin’s hair, especially since it got so long, and Lin always let her._

_The Earthbender chuckled, “not half as good, but he won’t notice”. She grabbed a hair clipper with a white lily on it, her aunt Suki got it for her from one of her and Sokka’s travels._

_Lin took a deep breath and put on some subtle makeup, “you got this, Beifong.” Her heartbeat started to increase as her mind wandered off to the wooden box in her bag, “it’s gonna be alright.”_

_She got up and grabbed her bag and a thin jacket before she excitedly left her flat and made her way to Tenzin._

_The streets of Republic City were still pretty busy at this time, but Lin only had eyes for her final destination: Air Temple Island. Nothing else was on her mind, she just wanted to finally be there… and talk to him, see him. She had been looking forward to and dreading this day for weeks now._

_The two of them haven’t properly seen each other in weeks. Tenzin was always busy with his training and Lin was working overtime. And the last time they had seen each other… they had a fight about this new Air Acolyte girl who recently moved to the Island. Her name was Nea and Lin hated her guts._

_Nea seemed to have a special interest in Tenzin, much to Lin’s dismay. Her boyfriend assured her that he had nothing but platonic feelings for the girl, but she had a bad feeling about it._

_She sighed at the thought of the girl and tried to shake it off immediately. Today was their day and their day only._

_While crossing Kyoshi Bridge, Lin couldn’t know that this day was going to turn into the worst day of her life._

* * *

After an hour, the two women finally arrived at the Southern Air Temple. The sun had already set over the horizon and the four kids were asleep in their rooms, unlike the adults.

Lin always thought there was something so magical about the Air Temples, something so fascinating and yet so sad. They had almost been untouched for around 170 years now, but the signs of former life were all too present. Her heart felt heavy as she wandered through the giant and empty hallway to her room, she would share it with Kya, the Waterbender insisted. “For old time’s sake,” she said. 

The Earthbender shook her head. Nothing was like it used to be, not for a long time. Did she miss it? _Yes._ She was always trying to move on from her past, but with every step she took she felt reminded of the time she had spent here before. 

A long, long time ago Aang took Tenzin and Lin to the Southern Air Temple. They only had been together for a few months at the time and Tenzin couldn’t bear the thought of leaving his girlfriend at home, so she joined them.

Sweet memories were passing through her mind, but they were quickly replaced by dark ones. She had too many dark thoughts. _I don’t have time for this._

“I don’t even remember the last time we did something together, just the two of us,” Kya was already sitting on her bed and awaiting Lin.

The Chief walked in and looked around. The room looked so… simple. _Typical Air Nomad._ There were two single beds and an open closet, that was it. “We just did, we came here together,” she snapped back. Lin was tired and not in the mood to talk.

The Waterbender stood up and walked over to her friend with a huge smile on her face, “oh come on, I miss my best friend. I miss talking to you. What’s been going on in your life? Come on. Let’s just… talk. You stopped talking to me thirty years ago”

_I missed you so much, but you left me. You left._ She rolled her eyes to show off her fake annoyance, “what’s it matter? I’m tired, I’ll go to sleep.”

“You don’t even have any clothes, Lin”

“I’ll just sleep in my uniform”

Kya crossed her arms, “So you can hide behind your metal amour?” She knew that Lin knew exactly what she was referring to. _Talk to me, please._

“What?!” Lin shook her head and turned around. She would never admit it, but there was a lot of truth behind that statement. Both women knew it. Lin felt much more confident behind all the metal, where no one could possibly hurt her. Not after all that’s happened.

“Lin, please-“  


“Stop!”

“But-“  
  
“I said stop!” she faced Kya again and put on an angry face, but the Waterbender could see through it. She always did. It was a face full of hurt and pain.

Kya wanted nothing more than to get through to her friend. Everyone kept telling her that Lin changed a lot within the past thirty years, but truthfully, she didn’t expect her to be so… cold. Lin her best friend and Lin in front of her weren’t the same people and it hurt Kya deep in her soul that she couldn’t get her friend back. She was scared she lost her forever, nevertheless, she knew that pushing Lin was always a bad idea.

“I’m going to get some fresh air,” Kya murmured and walked towards the door, “just take some of my clothes, I’m just a tiny bit taller than you anyway,” and with that, she left.

They used to share clothes a lot when they were younger after Lin stopped growing. The older woman always thought that her friend looked really pretty in blue.

Lin closed her eyes and listened to the footsteps in the hallway that got quieter and quieter until they vanished. _Great._ She did it again, she scared someone off. That was what she was best at, pushing people away from her.

She took off her shoes and placed the sole of her left foot against the cold ground to scan her surroundings with her seismic senses. There was no one moving in the rooms next to her, so Lin assumed they were sleeping or doing other things that didn’t involve moving.

With her hands she let a room divider appear out of nowhere, she wanted as much privacy as possible. She felt uncomfortable sharing a room, but she knew that she didn’t stand a chance against Kya.

The Chief bent off her armour and carefully placed it next to her bed. It always felt weird when she wasn’t wearing it, especially when she wasn’t at her own home. The cold air touched her upper body, causing her to shiver. She immediately felt less safe and her flight or fight response kicked in. _I’m safe. It’s safe_.

The bed felt rather uncomfortable, but the Air Nomads weren’t known for comfortable furniture. Lin covered her half naked-body with a thin duvet and laid down. She was too stubborn to take any of Kya’s clothes and the Waterbender probably knew that. Maybe. 

Lin Beifong didn’t need anything from anyone. She was doing perfectly fine on her own and she absolutely was not freezing in her tank top and panties. 

_She was._

It wasn’t just the cold air in the room, it was something cold deep inside her. Something she couldn’t quite grasp, but it had been there for decades.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!  
> The flashback in this chapter will be a major one throughout the story and I will be writing it piece by piece so I don't take everything away ;)  
> I can't say how frequently I'll be able to publish new chapters because my college classes start in two weeks and I'll also start my job in September so I'll have less time, but I hope to publish one or two more chapters before August!  
> I hope you enjoyed reading! Feedback is always very appreciated!  
> \- Claire x


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

Kya was sitting on the stairs in front of the temple and played with some water. She let it glide through her fingers as her mind wandered off to Lin. She just wanted to help her. So desperately. The Waterbender just had this gut feeling that something was… far from okay. That-

“Auntie Kya?” she heard tiny footsteps behind her and sighed, “why aren’t you in bed?”

“Well,” she turned around and smiled at her little niece, ”I could ask you the same, couldn’t I?” The Waterbender opened her arms, “come here,” maybe distraction was exactly what she needed right now.

Ikki looked hesitantly and then approached her aunt, “I can’t sleep. I’ve been thinking about the whole Equalists thing… it was so scary!”

_Understandable._

The Airbender was just seven years old and having experienced the Anti Bending Revolution first hand must’ve left some… trauma?

It was almost pitch-dark outside and only the moonshine subtly lit up the temple and its surroundings. The wildlife inhabiting the area was relatively quiet today, it was as if time stood still. The only thing subtly moving was the breezy and cold air. The location of the Southern Air Temple was relatively close to the North Pole which had a great impact on the climate.

The young Airbender carefully sat down next to the older woman and was pulled into an embrace by two strong hands. Kya’s skin was always so soft and warm and she really gave the best hugs in the whole entire world. It always made her feel so much better and safe.

Ikki looked at her face and tried to make out her facial expression in the darkness, which was quite an impossible task. All she knew was that her aunt always seemed to be in a good mood, but right now she seemed so… thoughtful. Something was bothering her and the girl was about to find out.

“Auntie?” the word left her mouth carefully, trying to not upset her or be sent back to bed immediately.

Kya slowly caressed her niece’s upper arm with her thumb, “what’s bothering you, cupcake?” She loved her nieces and nephews with all her heart and would do everything for them, even after bedtime.

The young Airbender chuckled, “well, actually I was wondering what’s bothering you!”

“Love.”

Ikki was taken aback by this answer, this a) wasn’t what she expected and b) she didn’t think she would get an answer at all. “Love? But love is great, isn’t it? I think… okay maybe not always. Dad told us about his ugly breakup with Chief Beifong, but now he has mum and I think they really love each other…” her voice got quieter with each word she spoke, feeling insecure about the effect it might have on her aunt.

The young Airbender was definitely a force of nature and very, very nosey. But like the rest of her family, she had her heart at the right place, full of love. 

_Love_. _What an adult topic._

The corner of Kya’s mouth went up, “yes. Love can be great and your parents are made for each other, don’t worry about that. I just never had the best of luck with it. It’s complicated”

“I don’t understand. You’re so nice and pretty!”

That comment made her laugh, “thank you” She softly placed a kiss on Ikki’s head, “I’m into someone who’s definitely not into me. You know, that’s the thing about love. You can love whoever you want, but so can they”

Her niece looked at the ground and went quiet for a few minutes, but Kya could tell that her mind was busy. She was so smart for her age.

“Okay, but if he-“

“She.”

“Oh. Sorry. If _she_ doesn’t love you back then she’s stupid!” the Airbender looked straight into her aunt’s face and the older woman could tell that her niece really meant it.

Kya laughed, “no, no she isn’t. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and I have accepted that she doesn’t have the same feelings for me many, many years ago. It’s just been so long since I’ve last been in a real relationship. It was way before aunt Izumi’s coronation. We decided to break off things because she needed to lead the Fire Nation and whatever else you have to do and I travelled through the world. It wasn’t meant to be.”

“What?!” Ikki looked at her in complete disbelief, “you and aunt Izumi?! The Fire Lord Izumi?! You were in a romantic relationship?! That… that is a lot to process.”

“Oh, yeah. Not many people knew at the time,” she decided not to mention that they were just young adults fooling around with each other, “the Fire Nation struggles with homophobia to this day, and having an openly pansexual Fire Lord would just cause a lot of drama… unfortunately. At least same-sex-marriage is legalised all over the world again.”

“You’re changing the topic,” the Airbender crossed her arms, “I want to know more about your crush, maybe Jinora, Meelo and I can couple you up! They would love that!”

“When I first realised I had feelings for her my heart stopped. Not in a bad way, but one day my heart decided that the way she smiled made my whole world spin. That the sound of her voice became my favourite sound I’ve ever heard. Every time I hear her voice I know everything is going to be alright. I used to look at her as a friend, but one day I looked a little too long and realised that she was the most perfect person I had ever met. She’s amazing. She isn’t an easy person, but I would love to spend the rest of my life with her. People say she’s hard to love, I say no one’s had the patience to understand her yet,” Kya looked at the stars and had the biggest smile on her face as her mind focussed on the woman of her dreams. _Lin._

* * *

_The decision to leave Republic City and travel the world was one Kya had made impulsively. It just felt right in that exact moment. The Waterbender needed to leave and she needed to leave now._

_Random clothes were quickly stuffed into a single, actually rather small bag. Her other belongings could just stay right where they are, Kya knew that her mother wouldn’t throw them out._

_Her mother. She sighed and paused for a moment. Could she leave her parents like that? She was 26 years old, for crying out loud. More than capable of making her own decision, whether Katara and Aang liked it or not._

_This night seemed perfect. Her parents were out on a date, Bumi was stationed in the Southern Earth Kingdom and wouldn’t be back for another few weeks, and Tenzin would be busy shagging his girlfriend tonight. Her little brother could just not shut up about how it was his and Lin’s fifth anniversary today, she was convinced that even her parents were sick of hearing it at this point._

_Kya hated it. She hated seeing Lin together with Tenzin. She hated how happy he made her. She hated that they would spend every single second together when they weren’t at work. But most importantly, she hated that Tenzin got to kiss Lin instead of her._

_Oh, what would the Waterbender give to be able to switch places with her brother for just a few minutes._

_The jealousy got to the point where it started ruling her life for whatever stupid reason. Lin Beifong was her friend and future sister-in-law… but she was also the person Kya deeply fell in love with one beautiful summer night._

_She had looked into the green eyes for a bit too long, inhaled her scent a bit too deeply. Back then, she hadn’t even been listening to what the Earthbender was saying. Kya only remembers how she had felt at that very moment._

_She felt like she had found her home in another person._

* * *

The little Airbender tried to get some more answers from her aunt, but she refused to give her any more details. So, logically, Ikki decided to stay up all night, which lead to her falling asleep on the Waterbender’s lap approximately ten minutes later. 

After tucking in her niece, she decided that it was time to go to bed for her as well.

“Lin…?” she whispered as quietly as possible when she entered the room, knowing fully well that, if Lin was still awake, she already would’ve known Kya was coming. 

Seismic sense was a concept she could never quite grasp. It surely sounded fun and helpful, but how on earth can people feel their surroundings?

The stubborn Beifong didn’t answer, but Kya wasn’t convinced that she had fallen asleep already. The wall of earth was dividing the room into two parts and it didn’t surprise her… at all. She was a bit hurt and disappointed, but not surprised.

The Healer sat down on her bed and closed her eyes for a few seconds, trying to hear Lin’s breathing. 

_Nothing. Again._

It almost felt as if the Earthbender tried to make herself invisible. Kya didn’t like it, but it sure did feel like something the younger woman would do. She always did that. Ever since… ever since Tenzin broke up with her.

Internally, she could kill her brother for the hurt he has caused Lin, for the scars that would never leave her again. But she wasn’t supposed to know about it. Wasn’t supposed to know about Lin’s biggest secret.

Kya grabs her pyjamas and quickly gets changed. She was tired, really tired. This day has brought back so many repressed memories from the last thirty-one years. Memories, she’s been trying to forget because just thinking about them was too painful. Not being able to be with Lin was too painful.

“I know that you don’t want to talk to me, Linny. At least not the way we used to” she covered her body with the thin blanket and looked right up at the ceiling, “but please know that I’m here for you. I’m always here for you. You used to be my best friend…”

_Best friend._

The younger woman was, indeed, still wide awake. Sensing every movement Kya has made since she entered the room. Her presence was always so calm and soothing.

Now, Lin didn’t believe in this aura bullshit, but she could _feel_ a person’s presence. Literally. The earth was always speaking to her, it was never quiet, and everyone had their own vibrations and sounds. And Kya was… special. Something about the way the earth felt when she walked on it was different. And it was always accompanied by a loud heartbeat.

* * *

_“Kya,” Izumi sighed and placed her hand on top of her friend’s thigh to caress it softly. The Waterbender had spent the night at the palace again to… talk… and to do… other things._

_The Crown Princess smiled softly. They had spent a lot of nights together in the past three years and this morning was no exception. Both women were lying in Izumi’s huge bed, naked._

_“‘I’m sorry, Izumi” Kya grabbed her hand carefully, “I really am,” She sat up and looked into her friend’s golden eyes._

_“Kya”_

_“Yes?”_

_“Don’t. No strings attached. This is just us being friends with benefits. You know that I…” Izumi stopped for a second, “…and you, you’re in love with Lin.”_

_“What?!“_

_“Oh come on, silly. I might be the prettiest girl in the Fire Nation, but I’m not stupid.”_

_Kya chuckled, “but you’re hard of hearing,” and pointed to her hearing aids._

_“Touché” she grinned, “but I still have two ey-“_

_“-you wear glasses”_

_“Oh, shut up!”_

_“Make me”_

_Izumi sighed dramatically, “fine, but we’ll talk about this!” She half jumped on top of Kya and pressed her lips against the Waterbender’s._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy Crickets, it's me again.  
> I have actually not forgotten about this fic, but real life has been a pain in the arse for the past three months. I've actually been a college student for two months until I dropped out again because it was, quite frankly, the worst thing I've ever done. Oh, and also my health said no, I couldn't have worked in that field afterward anyway.  
> So now I'm just vibing, mostly in my bed because I'm half time bedridden these days. 
> 
> Okay now that you know what I've been up to, let's talk about this fic. I'm definitely going to try to update more regularly again, can't promise anything though. If I disappear again for a while, just know, as long as this work exists, I'll be coming back.
> 
> I've tried to focus a bit on Kya in this one and make it a bit lighter, because, oh boy, the hurt/comfort is gonna hit us like a truck later on. I don't think I'll be writing many Kya centered chapters, maybe some bits and pieces once in a while. We'll see
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'm always open for criticism and suggestions, and of course, opinions. Y'all can't imagine how motivating comments are
> 
> Stay safe everyone,  
> Claire x


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